I wrote earlier this week about how self-knowledge can add to our happiness because we can quit trying to make ourselves do things that we don’t enjoy and aren’t any good at. I mentioned the Enneagram test as one that I’d taken but which gave me some rather confusing results. So I just re-took it, answering some of the questions differently and I think more accurately. Some of them are difficult for me, as either neither or both of the choices seem right. (Read that sentence three times.) One in particular gave me pause, as it was given the choice between a tendency to be sociable and friendly and being solitary and self-sufficient.
I had checked the first choice last time, because I do enjoy entertaining. This time, though, I realized that I needed to answer in terms of my overall pattern. Yes, I do enjoy have people over or planning parties, but my default position is introversion. Do I draw energy from other people, or do they draw energy from me? Definitely the second. After I’ve spent time with people I need to retreat and have time to myself. So I changed my answer to that question and a few others, and I ended up this time being solidly in the Type #1 position, the Reformer/Perfectionist category. Some of the characteristics fit better than others, and I still had fairly high scores for a couple of other types, but many are right on. I am very hard on myself. I do tend to hold grudges. I do want to somehow “make the world a better place,” even if I’m not going to go out and found a non-profit.
Right now, as I write this, I am alone in the house (except for the cats). My son is at work and my husband off doing things in preparation for our move over to my in-laws’ house. (I haven’t talked about that big change a-comin’.) So I’m sitting at the kitchen table, as happy as a clam. I’ll be glad to see them when they return, but I’m fine being by myself. On the other hand, because of my procrastinating and Obliger tendencies, it will be very easy for me to piddle around and waste much of this precious day. So my self-knowledge should be helpful. On the one hand, I love being alone. On the other, I tend to waste that time if I don’t have a pressing deadline. So I have to create deadlines for myself and learn to hold myself accountable. It’s a struggle! I’m getting better at it, though.
So today is to be dedicated to reconfiguring my recipes as I work, with lots and lots of help from Jim, to transfer my website over to a new platform. It’s all too tempting to take breaks and read the latest news story. I have to be stern with myself. It’s a slow process with lots of steps, so if I’m very conscious of my inborn tendency to dawdle I can work more effectively. Indeed, I’ve been seeing some progress on this front. It’s so much better to say to myself, “Okay, I’m wasting time here. How can I get myself back on track?” than for me to beat myself over the head for wasting time. You see the difference?
Well, better get back to the task at hand. On to the next recipe!