Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, New York: Crown Publishers, 2012.
My mother used to say to me, “Don’t be self-conscious.” Other times she’d tell me not to be shy. This book tells me that she might as well have said, “Don’t have blue eyes” or “Don’t be good at spelling.” Introversion is an inherited trait.I got so tickled at Mimi Wilson, a Christian writer and speaker who was featured at a recent retreat I attended. She said she was such an extrovert that she’d have a hard time in Heaven if the mansions were all separated from each other; she was hoping they’d be more like apartments. But while I’ve become much more people-friendly since marrying Jim, I have to say that my idea and Mimi’s idea of Heaven don’t exactly coincide. While I do enjoy talking to people much more than I used to, at some point I have to have some alone time. My dear friend Cecelia said once that she drew energy from other people; for me, it’s the other way around in that people draw energy from me. I can take only so much togetherness!
Cain, herself an introvert, explores the implications of the way our world prizes extroversion. Quiet, thoughtful people who have a hard time elbowing their way into conversations aren’t valued much. And that lack of respect means that there are often times when the introvert’s good ideas are ignored and the pushy person’s bad ideas are followed, leading to disaster. As I looked back over this book to write this post I was impressed all over again with Cain’s ideas. Any book that skewers Tony Robbins has my vote!
I would say that this book helped me understand myself better, which is always a good thing. Why do I hate and despise meetings? Why do I find “team-building” exercises to be so silly? Why is my attitude “Just leave me alone and let me do my work!”? Because I am a confirmed, committed introvert. Why do I like standing up in front of people and talking but often find one-on-one conversations to be a bit daunting? Because I have an actor’s personality. (Most actors are introverts. Did you know that? They like becoming a different person on stage.) No matter what type of person you are (and there are many different points on the continuum between the two extremes of personality; no one is totally one or the other), I can guarantee that you’ll gain some reality-based insights if you read this book. Go curl up somewhere quiet, maybe. Or get the audiobook and listen to it while you’re out running through the park with crowds of people around. Whatever suits your personality!