Psychology Archives - Page 3 of 5

In Which I Am a Bad Sport about a Small Problem

December 13, 2017July 8, 2017 by Debi Simons

figure unrolling carpet Ain’t that just the way it always is? You finally solve a problem after weeks or even longer of delay, but one little thing is still wrong. So what do you focus on? That one little thing, of course.

Yesterday morning the second set of carpet installers arrived and immediately showed that they knew what they were doing. I mentioned to the guy before I left that they needed to check all the thresholds, which he assured me he would do. Arriving home after a great morning of Bible study and fellowship, I allowed myself not one second of enjoyment before going to the kitchen threshold and checking to make sure it had been done.

Humor in the Midst of Hard Times

December 16, 2017June 8, 2017 by Debi Simons

Tom and Cecilia To give everyone a break from the nonstop house-remodeling issues and and a much-needed perspective from someone who’s handling real problems with grace, style, and gratitude, here’s a post from my dear, dear friend Cecelia Weer who’s been battling cancer. Honestly, you have to read the article even if you’re not a big fan of illness stories, because she and her husband are so funny. I can just hear her voice, especially in the parts where she’s making up amusing names for various things.

My Obliger Tendency Enjoys House Showings.

December 1, 2017March 15, 2017 by Debi Simons

Living room with leather furniture and pictures of English gardens As I’ve said many times on this blog, I am a classic Obliger, which means that, while I have a hard time getting myself to meet my own expectations I readily meet others’ expectations. How I wish, wish, wish that I had known this about myself 50 years ago! But Gretchen Rubin, the woman who came up with the Four Tendencies framework, wasn’t doing much writing then, as she would have been a toddler. Actually, I wish that I’d known about the Tendencies 53 years ago. I’ll be 65 at the end of this month, so 53 years ago I’d have been 12 years old. That’s a nice threshold age, I think.

Further Self-Knowledge.

December 18, 2017January 19, 2017 by Debi Simons

head half covered in mosiac lines and head reflected on left and right I wrote earlier this week about how self-knowledge can add to our happiness because we can quit trying to make ourselves do things that we don’t enjoy and aren’t any good at. I mentioned the Enneagram test as one that I’d taken but which gave me some rather confusing results. So I just re-took it, answering some of the questions differently and I think more accurately. Some of them are difficult for me, as either neither or both of the choices seem right. (Read that sentence three times.) One in particular gave me pause, as it was given the choice between a tendency to be sociable and friendly and being solitary and self-sufficient.

Knowing Yourself Can Add to Happiness.

December 18, 2017January 16, 2017 by Debi Simons

stylized face superimposed over rectangular colored tiles

This is another one of those posts that grew out of something I heard on the radio and then managed to find again. It was just a five-minute segment on some woman who lives in New York City and produces modern operas, running her office out of the second bedroom of her two-bedroom apartment. Her production company totals eight people, including her. New York Apartments are pretty small, so I can’t imagine how they all fit in and still get anything done, but apparently they do. She says that it would make no sense for her to spend $30,000-$40,000 per year on office space and therefore not have that amount of money to spend on what really matters to her: producing modern operas by new composers. She is completely focused on the business at hand.

What the Peanut Allergy Controversy Says about Human Nature.

December 18, 2017January 9, 2017 by Debi Simons

peanuts with one half shelled

Here’s what seems to have happened:

1. In the normal course of things, some children developed severe peanut allergies.

2. Awareness of this problem grew. It’s not clear whether the actual incidents grew or not, but almost certainly not. It was probably more a matter of growing access to information.

The Tyranny of Possessions

December 18, 2017December 15, 2016 by Debi Simons

Salisbury House, EnglandI was reminded of this principle awhile ago when I was in an enormous house for a meeting.You walked into the front door and there you were in a foyer with one staircase curving down into a family room with a pool table and a fountain in the floor and the other curving up to the main level with another fountain, this time as a sheet of water flowing down a glass wall. I sat in the beautiful living room facing a fireplace with some kind of fancy poured-concrete mantel and huge shelves on either side of it going all the way up to the very high ceiling, with decorative objects and photographs. All I could think was, ‘How on earth do you get up to that top shelf to dust?” It wouldn’t be a matter of a stepstool; more of a stepladder. Maybe even a crane.

Before I go on, I do want to make it clear (not that anyone reading this has the faintest idea whom I’m talking about) that I’m not in any way criticizing the people who own the house. I have no idea how they use it or what their rationale was for buying it. I really enjoyed being there, and I came home fired up with the intention of keeping my own house a little more pristine.

Time to Learn Emotional Hygiene?

December 18, 2017December 5, 2016 by Debi Simons

There’s a program on NPR called “The TED Radio Hour.” I was listening to it yesterday as I drove across town to a concert. Fascinating! Here’s the entire TED talk that’s referenced in the show. Note here that I (although perhaps not Dr. Winch) would make a distinction between mental/emotional health on the one hand and spiritual health on the other. But I found his ideas to be very intriguing. Be sure you listen to the whole thing. He has some great stories!

Circles Around a Problem

December 18, 2017December 1, 2016 by Debi Simons

concentric blue circles

Yet another post in which I borrow shamelessly from the Gretchen Rubin and Liz Craft podcast. You really, really, really should listen to it every single week. I don’t actually subscribe to it but just remember, “Oh, it’s Wednesday! Time for Gretch and Liz!”

Anyway, yesterday they were discussing the issue of how to deal with people who are very upset about your problems and so aren’t helpful. A woman had written in earlier saying that she had cancer, and her mother was so devastated about it that it was draining and upsetting for the daughter to be around her. Instead of her mother comforting her, she was having to comfort her mother. So the woman just didn’t want to be around a person who should have been a great help and support.

I Get a Taste of My Own Medicine at the Tile Store.

December 19, 2017November 14, 2016 by Debi Simons

black and white checkerboard tile floor Are you familiar with the terms “maximizer” and “satisficer”? I notice that the spellcheck on my website platform has flagged both of those words as being misspelled, but since my hero Gretchen Rubin uses them they must be okay. (She’s not the only one who uses the words, but I believe I got them first from her.) i guess I should define those terms. So a “maximizer” keeps looking and looking for the perfect whatever-it-s, comparing and analyzing and second-guessing. (Some people actually enjoy this process; others are driven crazy by it but feel they have to keep going.)