I guess you could call me a kind of volunteer unofficial events planner. (I wonder when the term “events planner” entered the world’s vocabulary.) I wrote a previous post over on the hospitality blog about the upcoming holiday events I’m in charge of; those are all over now, but–magically!–new ones have appeared on the horizon: special family meals while my sister- and brother-in-law are here, including said s-i-l’s birthday party. So I’ll have plenty to write about over there. But the thought occurs to me sometimes that maybe all this effort is unnecessary. I told Jim once, back when we lived in D.C. and
I was often involved in preparing food for wedding receptions, that all I was really doing was killing myself to feed people who didn’t need it. Maybe I should be using my cooking talents to feed the needy. And that’s still a worthy goal, one which I should think about more in the new year. But that’s another subject entirely. Right now, I’m asking, ‘What about those wedding receptions, and post-concert receptions, and big holiday meals, etc., etc.? Are they really necessary? Shouldn’t we just save the money and the effort and just not bother?’
Here, as in just about every human endeavor, good ol’ Martin Luther’s image of the drunken man on horseback is applicable. We spend very little time in the saddle of moderation and way too much time in the ditch on either side. The most common celebrations ditch is on the side of overspending and overconsumption. I deliberately chose the picture to go with this post based on how glitzy and expensive it looked. Those cupcakes probably cost $3-$5 apiece from a fancy bakery. (I just went onto the site of a certain famous cupcake store and couldn’t find any prices listed. You know things are pretty bad when they don’t publicly list the cost!) And that’s just one expense among many. We buy into the idea that things have to be done a certain way or we’ll look cheap. All our friends will sneer. But we forget the real, legitimate purposes of celebrations: to build relationships and memories. To show the importance of important events. To spangle everyday life with a few sequins. But it’s so easy to overdo.
So, for the remaining two posts this week here on the Intentional Happiness blog, I’m going to be exploring the whole idea of overdoing and (rarely) underdoing it when it comes to how we celebrate. On Wednesday I’ll be exploring how money does and does not buy happiness, with the subcategory of frugality vs. cheapness.. On Friday I’m going to explore what the Bible has to say about feasting and celebration. (And if you think that all I’ll have to put on that post is “Thou shalt not celebrate!” then you haven’t really read the Bible. Remember, Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding feast.)
This whole idea of frugality extends to much more than holiday meals, of course. Are you rushing around doing last-minute shopping, running up credit card bills and stressing yourself out as Christmas approaches? Take a deep breath and ask yourself why. And make a resolution that next year you’ll limit things. You’ll do a family gift exchange, or something similar. We go the Secret Santa route on my brother’s side of the family, and it is so enjoyable and stress-free. We draw names and provide lists or 3-4 items that we want, all under $50, and then have the surprise of seeing who got us the gift and what they picked. We know we’ll get something we really want. It works beautifully. We do have two little boys in the family this year, and the SS is only for the adults right now, but the system could easily be re-worked to include children. Kudos to my dear sister-in-law Joyce who has the thankless task every year of drawing the names, sending out the lists, and hassling the people who don’t get their requests turned in. (I am never late about this particular task.)
Stay in that saddle!