The Economy of Celebrations - Respect Food Roles

Table set with silver, crystal goblets, and linen

So, here’s the second of three posts this week on why people need celebrations and how to get the most out of them. I’m writing this as I sit at our dining room table with some of my favorite in-laws, my brother- and sister-in-law and my father- and mother-in-law. (We are eating a late lunch to feed the poor starving visitors who weren’t fed on the plane. Be sure to read the hospitality blog tomorrow to get the recipe for the wonderful chicken salad I fed them.) The siblings-in-law just got into town from Seattle for a wonderful eight days which will include some special get-togethers including Christmas dinner, a big birthday dinner for Carol (since her birthday is Dec. 30th), and a pizza party for Monday Night Football. Is all this really necessary? There’s expense and effort involved. Why bother?

As I said Monday, celebrations can have legitimate purposes: building memories and relationships. Making the occasion special can help cement its importance. It seems a bit sad not to mark a wedding, for instance, with some sort of party afterwards. It’s when the purpose of the celebration veers into the desire to impress, to do what’s always done, to fulfill

others’ expectations, that the whole thing can go seriously off the rails. Sometimes a holiday tradition can be more trouble than it’s worth, putting burdens on the participants and subtracting from rather than adding to the happiness of the occasion. There can come a time when someone, usually the person who’s doing most of the work, says, “Enough!” Our local public radio station has been airing listeners’ stories about the holidays, and one woman told the story of how her family decided that the traditional big Christmas Eve dinner was too much work. So now they go out for Indian food and everyone is much happier. A new tradition has been born.

So it’s helpful to ask, “Why are we doing this? Do people really enjoy it? Or do we just go through this every year out of pure inertia? Can anyone even remember when this got started?” It’s always a delicate balancing act, keeping the truly memorable and eliminating the merely habitual, so that when it’s all over we feel energized and not exhausted, we’re glad we made the effort instead of simply being relieved that we made it through.

It may be a little late to ask these questions now, on Dec. 23. The presents are probably already bought and wrapped–right? (I despise spending money on wrapping paper and ribbon! Yesterday I wasted a lot of time at the grocery store trying to figure out my best options on ribbons vs. pre-made bows. One of these days I’m going to get myself organized enough to start saving the Sunday comics and using those for wrapping paper.) The tree is up. The groceries are bought and the reservations are made. But did those preparations add to your happiness? Will the upcoming events do so? Not a bad idea to reconsider what’s worthwhile and what’s not. You can always say, “This has been fun, but next year we’re going to simplify. We’re going to work less and enjoy more.”

Celebrations, especially those that involve gift-giving, are often needlessly expensive. I would direct your attention to an excellent article from the Mr. Money Mustache blog on the relationship between money and happiness, “How to Make Money Buy Happiness.” This is his second appearance here, and he’ll probably make some more. Definitely thought-provoking!

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