I’ve been writing quite a bit recently about two subjects: tools and planning. As I write this I’m facing two frantic days to prepare for tomorrow night’s concert and reception. Yesterday I got all of my grocery shopping done, a task that I would normally have put off until today. So today can be solely dedicated to food prep that can be done ahead, housework, and going over my music. We have our second concert-week rehearsal this evening, which will be fraught with the usual angst over our entrances and exits. (Why we can’t just have a standard procedure that we always follow is beyond me, but I guess it keeps us from getting complacent.)
The previous paragraph was written on Thursday, May 7, but I didn’t finish and post it. So now I can do so from the perspective of looking back at the events I was looking forward to at the time, if that makes sense. I reminded myself a number of times while all the hoopla was going on that I needed to pay attention to what was happening right then, whether it was loading the car or singing the concert or cleaning up the kitchen Saturday (a task that was mitigated by Jim’s wonderful help in serial dishwasher-loading.) And what happened? Well . . .
It didn’t go perfectly. Big surprise. I had worked, and worked, and worked some more on the music, and yet I didn’t feel totally confident either night in the performance. Saturday I never did just sit down and spend half an hour going over everything, with the result that my rendition of “Balia Di Sehu” that night was probably less articulated than Friday’s version. (We all struggled with memorization on this piece.) You can fail to keep up the effort and and therefore fail to reap the full benefits of early preparation. I felt that the party wound down way too soon on Friday. I never got my third non-Chorale helper, so a few things fell through the cracks. I took my snow scraper out of the car Friday to make room for the food, with the result that I had to clean off the heavy, wet snow on Saturday night with my umbrella. (Snow on Mother’s Day weekend! It’s Colorado, after all.) At least I had that along.
And you know what? It’s okay. There were plenty of things that went very, very well. People raved about the food Friday night. (The strawberry tarts were gobbled up without a trace.) We had a great crowd Saturday evening in spite of the snow. I didn’t sing perfectly but I was prepared more thoroughly than I had ever been for a concert. And, most importantly, the Chorale itself did great. My little contributions weren’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. Get over yourself. Debi! There are plenty of people who work hard at something and don’t succeed perfectly. (In that same vein of keeping one’s perspective on one’s own importance, I must, must, must include a link here to Gretchen Rubin’s blog post of today which I just read. Great stuff!)
And because I did make a conscious effort to savor the present, at least some of the time, I can look back on the event with pleasure and happiness. More and more I see the importance of embracing the moment, hokey as that phrase sounds.