As I work toward becoming more productive (tomorrow will be a review of Charles Duhigg‘s new book), I find myself doing something rather puzzling: I’m all set to get on with a task or goal, heading straight for it, and then I think, ‘Oh, before I get started I’ll just . . . ‘ and before you know it the momentum has stalled. 45 minutes have passed since I was supposedly going to get started.
I mentioned this idea last month in Don’t Miss Out! It’s hard enough sometimes to concentrate on the wonderful, long-anticipated events in our lives, much less the difficulties. But I heard something just great this morning out of the corner of my ear, as it were, on NPR, in a story about the myth of the so-called “midlife crisis.” There were several interviews with middle-aged people whose lives hadn’t turned out as planned but who were nevertheless happy and productive. Then the reporter said that she had to include a quotation from a woman named Victoria Gallucci (hope I’m spelling that right, Victoria!) who . . .
“I have discovered that there is one main reason why we procrastinate: it rewards us with temporary relief from stress.” Neil Fiore, author of The Now Habit and other books. I quote from him fairly extensively in my own book. (See sidebar for ordering information.) Last week I posted about the mistaken idea that you have to get motivated before you get to work; that you have to feel a certain way first. So did the runner in the picture ask herself if she really felt like running through the snow? If she had, she probably would have stayed by the fire drinking hot chocolate. She would have avoided the stress of the cold . . .
I wrote back in January about my seed order and the amount of hope contained in those little packets. Now the process has actually started, with the first sprouts coming up. This is actually a four o’clock plant from seeds I already had on hand. The plan is for 16 plants to be placed all around our deck. It’s a long process every year, and if I don’t get them going early enough the wonderful flowering display won’t really start until late in the summer. I wasn’t completely sure that the seeds I had were still viable as they’re several years old, but a number of them are coming up. It’s hard to believe that from this tiny beginning a big three-foot bush covered with salmon-pink flowers will emerge. I’ll coddle, coax and water the baby plants, then cross my fingers and plant them out, water, and wait until the flowers emerge, at which time the deadheading phase will begin.
The rest of us just show up and get to work” (artist Chuck Close, quoted in The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking by Oliver Burkeman, p. 69).
There’s a happiness principle: “Enjoy the process.” Also, “Success is not the destination but the journey.” We’ve all heard these ideas, and they do make sense. If all you care about is the end result, then you miss out on a lot of potential enjoyment. I’ve started reminding myself of these ideas when I’m in the throes of some event or the other. Pay attention, Debi! The event itself, whether a meal or a party, will last only a couple of hours, but the preparation will be much longer. Don’t let haste and worry destroy that process.
This will be the last Super Bowl reference until next year, I promise. As we sat 2 1/2 weeks ago in front of the TV waiting for the game to begin, my brother said, “I can’t believe this is finally happening after all these weeks of waiting!” And I think we did watch and enjoy and experience very single minute (of the game, not the half-time show, which I turned off midway through).
The Cure for Everything: Untangling the Twisted Messages about Health, Fitness and Happiness by Timothy Caulfield, Beacon Press, 2012, available in several formats.
If you have time to read only one book on health this year, I would strongly suggest that it be this one. Were you to be prone to spend money on dietary supplements, cleanses, homeopathy, or acupuncture (to name a few currently popular fad items), you’d make back the money you spend on this book with all the money you’d save by cutting out your expenses on those totally needless items.
A dear friend from a number of years ago (and in a different state from where we live now) said to me about some nostrum or other, “It totally changes the way your body works.” Whoa! Do we actually want to do that? Sounds pretty dangerous to me. (She was safe in taking whatever-it-was, of course, as it did nothing of the kind. Cleaned out her wallet, but that’s about it.) Caulfield actually tries out every item he criticizes, so he puts his money where his mouth is. There’s a hilarious section
I wrote about this new tool a month ago. At left is the picture I took at the time. The idea, as I explained at the time, is drawn from two sources: Atul Gawande’s The Checklist Manifesto and Maria Cilley’s Sink Reflections. The nice organizer I bought came with a heavyweight plastic sleeve, so I printed out a checklist and trimmed it to fit. The orange pen cap sticking out of the pocket belongs to the erasable marker I use to check off tasks, with the marks coming off easily with a kleenex and a little, well, spit.