Is There Ever Discipline without Deprivation?

We need discipline only when we have conflicting goals; the essence of discipline is that we’re making a choice. It takes no discipline to run from a tornado.  Choices don’t have to be painful, though.  You shouldn’t think of them as being in the same category as that of Travis Bickle’s holding his fist over the gas burner in Taxi Driver.  We can also set up our lives so that the potential for making the wrong choice is minimized.  An acquaintance once said, “I tell myself that I deserve a candy bar when I stop at the gas station.”  She was explaining why she couldn’t lose weight–not that anyone had asked her about it.  She obviously felt very defensive about her lack of success in this area.  But look at how she was shooting herself in her foot.  Even though this was many years ago, paying by credit card at the pump was doable.  They didn’t have candy bars right next to the windshield-cleaning tools.  You had to go inside to be exposed to the KitKats.  So she shouldn’t have gone in there!  She needed to change her thoughts (I “deserve” a candy bar), but she could also help herself by changing her actions.

TIME magazine published an article in 2013 on the subject of self-discipline, drawing on research done by the Association for Psychological Science.  Are self-disciplined people happier, or do they tend to be joyless killjoys?  And of course they’re happier.  We all know that.  We all know that when we have conflicting goals, 99% of the time a short-term indulgence vs. a long-term accomplishment, that we will not be happy if we give in to the short-term indulgence.  I’ve been struggling with this issue for ages.  Over 25 years ago I wrote:

So what does this magic word “discipline” actually mean?  It means that, when you have it, you do what you ought to do , and nut just what you want to do.  “How dreary!” I hear you say.  Well, not really.  It is actually the chronically undisciplined person’s life that is dreary.  She is constantly nagged by thoughts of what ought to be done and isn’t; she’s caught at the last minute with preparations unmade; her life tends to be one long frantic game of catchup.  The disciplined person, on the other hand, has a far more serene life . . . Her preparations are made.  She has a tremendous feeling of accomplishment at the end of most days.  Those frantic zero-hour nervous breakdowns don’t happen to her. . . . I have found that one of the most helpful things I can do on a purely human level to develop discipline is to visualize as intensely and clearly as I can what the consequences will be if I don’t do what I’m supposed to do, vs. what will happen if I do it.

Hmmm.  Pretty good advice.  Trying to look back on the choice from the future as I make the choice in the present.  Mental gymnastics of a sort, or perhaps more like mental time travel.  Whatever it is, I need to do it before plugging in that search term!

See the complete article on self-discipline and happiness here.