My Post-Surgery Clean Slate

It’s now been over a week since surgery. I went in yesterday morning for my first post-op visit, hoping that I’d be told to go back to regular shoes, but no such luck. Maybe next Wednesday. Things look okay, with the implants holding in place, although my not-so-stellar bones have allowed some slippage. My hope was that Dr. Blue would exclaim with joy over how wonderful everything looked, but instead it was more of an “okay.” Guess that’ll have to do. I’m not planning on doing any driving while wearing this very clumsy shoe, so I’m dependent on Jim and Gideon for going anywhere. No big deal! I’m not sure what I’d do if I were, say, a single person supporting myself as a waiter or a housecleaner, but since this was elective surgery I guess it just wouldn’t have happened.

(As I sat in the waiting room for Jim to pick me up I saw people in those big surgical boots, much clumsier than my shoe, and a couple of guys on crutches, which has to be the worst thing ever. I was so relieved when my doctor said that I wouldn’t need to use them. I’ve had several weeks-long stretches in the past when I was on them, and they’re brutal. How’re you supposed to carry anything when both hands are occupied with those blasted things?  I honestly don’t remember what I did in order to pick Gideon up from school during those times, especially during the time that my foot was in a cast due to a broken metatarsal bone, although he reminded me that since my toes were free I was able to work the pedals. My right foot has really been through the wars, with bunion surgery, that broken bone, and now my second surgery to correct hammertoes. This had better be it!)

Anyway, I was reminded of a Gretchen Rubin concept in her material on habits: that of framing a new situation in your life as a “clean slate.” You can use virtually any change as a spur to think this way; it doesn’t have to be something terribly dramatic. Maybe you’ve moved, or ended a relationship, or had a baby, all of which are indeed pretty major. But I’ve decided to put my surgery into this category: once I get back to normal, I want to re-establish some routines that I’ve let slip, especially in the area of exercise and housework. Everything physical has had to grind to a halt, so once they start up again the clean slate is the post-op world. And I need to hold the line better on my weight, which has crept up a few pounds. No big deal, but my red-line limit is helpful in keeping my diabetes in check. I’ve tried very hard during this sedentary time not to eat just because I’m bored, which can be fatal.

I also want to remind myself of the blessings of mobility once I get that back. We all know in theory that even the smallest problem in that area is a royal pain. For me during this time, I’ve simply had to be sure that I don’t put my foot down at all without that surgical shoe. I want my poor toes to have every chance of healing well. But I’ve been reminded a couple of times over the past couple of weeks of what it would be like to be without the use of one’s legs permanently. Jim and I recently watched the movie Avatar, and while in some ways it was pretty silly it had an interesting twist: the main male character is confined to a wheelchair in “real” life, while his avatar on the planet Pandora is fully functional. They were careful in the script to show the guy having to take hold of his paralyzed legs and lift them up onto the pod thingy that he uses to mind-meld with his alter ego. (I know, I know.) And a couple of weeks ago I saw a young-ish guy with a man-bun at Costco, hoicking his way along the aisles in a wheelchair. I wondered how on earth he was managing to buy anything at all, since he seemed to be limited to what he could carry on his lap. Maybe he had a shopping partner with him—I hope so. The amount of effort that it takes just to get in and out of a car when your legs don’t work is mind-boggling. I’m afraid I’d just give up and stay home.

Well, enough sermonizing for one post. Please watch for the first episode of my podcast connected to this site in which I delve into more detail on this whole idea of the proper roles that food should play in our lives. It won’t be one of those open-ended series but most of a limited run. We’ll see. The first one will probably drop on Monday.

What could you use as a clean slate in your life today?